Sometimes,
most times in fact,
I am completely overwhelmed and come completely undone
by God’s indescribable love for me.
Yesterday,
well, there are no words,
but this story needs to be told
so here I go.
the desire to hear my husband’s voice was overwhelming.
Next to God,
he was my voice of reason,
the one who would fan the flame of my faith when it started to grow dim.
A month without him
found me needing both,
and needing so desperately to hear his voice,
which always, always, always brought such clarity and peace.
“Oh, Lord – I just need to hear his voice.”
Leaving work at noon,
spent and cried out,
I put on work clothes and headed out into my yard.
As I raked and watered,
I kept crying out to God.
“It’s been so long, Lord. 28 days. I haven’t heard my Handsome Honey in 28 looooooong days.”
Then, out of the blue,
(and no doubt, straight from Heaven)
my phone,
tucked deep in my back pocket,
sounded an alert.
I took off my gardening gloves,
reached for my phone and discovered this message:
Voicemail almost 100% full.
Of course, voicemail!
Why hadn’t I thought of it before now?!
I immediately started scrolling through previous voicemail messages
until I spotted one from my man.
Hitting the play button and placing the phone to my ear,
I was beyond overwhelmed with the words that poured into my ear
and down deep into my heart.
Only God.
These were not just any words,
these were the perfect words my heart needed to hear.
Perfect words,
from a perfect God who is so intimately in love with us
that He will stop at nothing to meet the deepest needs of our heart.
As tears flooded my eyes
and mixed with the dirt on my face,
a joy and a peace
unlike any other day since February 4
flooded my heart.
Yes, God will use this for good.
Yes, I believe.
Yes, Lord,
You who grant the desires of our heart,
will stop at nothing to
make this count
for our good,
for Your kingdom,
for Your glory.
And while You do,
I have no doubt
You will continue to pull out all the stops,
to go above and beyond
to hear the cries of my heart
and answer in ways that completely overwhelm me
and completely undo me.
It’s who You are.
And me,
I am so blessed to be loved by You.
NOTE: I wrote the above post March 5, 2016. This past weekend, (the 7th anniversary of losing my man) I thought back to this day, to these perfect words. To say I was overwhelmed by the way God has brought them to fruition is an understatement. Here, seven year laters I am the co-author (I firmly believe Holy Spirit is THE author) of not one, but two books about loving, missing and living beyond. Two books that flowed directly out of my loss and now have brought unimaginable gain to so many hurting hearts. IF ONLY IF COULD. And, YOU’LL BE FINE. BEAUTIFUL. YOU’VE GOT GOD. The words God re-spoke to my heart that day through the voice of my man have more than come true. God’s faithfulness in the ashes bringing beauty as only He can – undeniable. It’s why I decided to share this post again. It’s why it’s always so faith-building and praise-indusing to go back and see what God has done – how He has faithfully fulfilled His promises. Our God is faithful. Perfect words to describe our perfect God. To God be the glory!
