If Not
Faith Walk

If Not, We . . .

My husband said a lot

of sweet words 

(and some unsweet words,

as did I – let’s just be honest)

over the course of our dating years

and days as husband and wife.


One of the sweetest things

he ever said to me, though,

was when we were still dating.


Trying to be hospitable,

me and my

not-anything-to-impress anyone with

cooking skills

had invited my new love

over for a meal.


In an attempt to make the perfect meal,

I had made one of the few meals

I felt confident making.


When the doorbell rang,

everything was “just right”.


Until . . . 

I opened the door

to greet my dinner date,

and he handed me a bag full

of ears of fresh corn.


And as silly and as embarrassing

as this is to admit,

I had never cooked fresh corn.


I froze.
I panicked.
I (sigh) started to cry.


Honestly, looking back now,

it’s a wonder he didn’t

turn around and walk away

right then and there.


Thank God he stayed.


And, thank God 

for what this man

said next.


“What’s wrong?

Why are you crying?”


“I’ve never cooked corn before.

What if I ruin it?”


He laughed – 

not a laughing at you 

kind of laugh,

but a

“oh – is that all that is worrying you”

relieved kind of laugh.


“Oh, baby –

it’s so easy.

All you have to do

is boil it.”


“But, what if 

I don’t boil it long enough?”


Wiping my tears,

he looked me 

right in the eyes and said,

“It’ll be ok. 

If not, we’ll just 

boil it some more.”


I know –

you were expecting to read

some really “sweet words” here.


But to me,

hearing this man say,

if not – we’ll just

were the most loving words

my heart had ever heard.


They took my love for this man

to a whole new level.


And I soon learned,

this “if not, we’ll just”

attitude of his

wasn’t just limited

to cooking a pot of corn.


One day while he was at work,

I decided to go over and

surprise tidy-up his home for him.


It was mid-summer.

I didn’t turn on his air conditioner, though,

because the night before he had mentioned

it wasn’t working quite right.


When he got home

and discovered me

working away in his hot home,

naturally, (and in disbelief!)

he asked why I hadn’t turned on the AC.


“I didn’t want to burn up the motor.”


“Oh, baby –

the motor doesn’t matter.

You matter.

You wouldn’t burn it up,

but if you did, 

we’d just get a new one.”


Now,

I was the one

standing there

in disbelief.


What love was this?


A love that didn’t

get upset,

hold it against you,

or think things 

(like corn or motors)

were more important?


I soon discovered

this man

loved like Jesus.


He showed

grace,

forgiveness,

mercy,

kindness

and a love

that loved me –

me! –

in spite of me,

flaws, idiosyncrasies, and all.


And you know what?


Those sweet, sweet words –

“if not, we’ll just”

released me from the fear of

failure and messing up,

to walk in a new freedom

to try,

to grow,

to branch out,

to believe I could.


His love and grace 

set me free

to be me.


And sweeter even still

than the words of my man

are the words of my God.


“My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous.”~1 John 2:1 


Just like I longed to do right

for the man I loved,

I long to do right

for my God.


I long to be holy as He is holy.


I don’t want to sin.

I don’t want to disappoint Him.

I don’t want to break His heart.


And, with the Spirit’s help,

I try my best not to –

but if I do –

how beautiful to know

He’s still there.

He doesn’t leave.


When I confess,

He gives

grace,

forgiveness,

mercy,

kindness

and a love

that loves me –

me! –

in spite of me,

flaws, sins, and all.


And you know what?


Those sweet, sweet words –

“if not, we have advocate”

release me from the fear of

failure and messing up,

to walk in a new freedom

to keep pleasing Him,

to keep loving Him,

to keep answering His call,

to keep running to Him,

to keep trying to be like Him.


His love and grace 

set me free

to be me –

the me He created me to be.


“if not, we . . .”


Is it any wonder

this girl said “I do” 

not only to my man,

but also to the Jesus he loved?


To be truly loved –

what a precious, precious gift.


I am so blessed.

And if you have Jesus,

so are you.

~Stacy

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