I’m So Thankful I Went First
The last few weeks
have been filled with
much loss
and much sorrow.
Not for me
in my immediate family –
but absolutely for me
personally
as three of
my very close friends
lost their husbands.
Having lost
my own precious man
nine years ago,
my heart hurt
each and every time
I heard of
the loss of theirs.
Because you see,
I’ve been there.
I’ve known the shock.
I’ve known the
“I can’t believe this is true.”
I’ve known the
unbearable sorrow
that feels so
incredibly suffocating.
I’ve know the
midnight tears
and the trying to sleep
in a bed that feels
as vast, as dark and as lonely
as a huge ocean.
I’ve known the
waking up
to an empty bed
and the reality
of the loss
hitting you all over again.
I’ve known the
walk they are
just beginning
to step out into.
And my heart
breaks wide open
for each of them.
But,
I also know
the God of all comfort
who meets us
in our sorrow.
I know the One –
who even when
the sorrow feels
so incredibly low –
comes alongside
with unexpected blessings
and love from others
that lifts so high.
I know the Savior
who draws so very near
to the brokenhearted –
especially in the
wee hours of the night.
I know the Father
who in the midst
of all the hurt
and all the upheavel –
provides
protects,
upholds,
sustains.
When I lost
my husband,
no one in my circle
of close friends
had experienced
such a loss.
Not having anyone
who had
walked the walk
to come alongside me
and walk it with me
made my loss
feel even lonelier.
Since that
life-changing day
nine years ago,
other friends
have now joined me
in widowhood –
including these
precious friends
these last few weeks.
For each of them,
I am so thankful
I went first.
My pain,
my journey,
my making my way through
with the One who is the way
now puts me in
the perfect place
to come alongside them.
I won’t be able
to ease
their sorrow.
I won’t be able
to fill
the emptiness
that only
their man can.
But,
I will be able
to keep
pointing the eyes
of their broken heart
up to Jesus.
I will be able
to help
ease their fear
by reminding them
with God
they are
never ever alone.
I will be able
to remind them
of the faithfulness
of our God
and tell of His goodness
in my own journey
that will surely
encourage them in theirs.
I will be able
to say
“I know how you feel”
and they will know
that I do –
I know exactly
how they feel
beause I have been
exactly where
they now are.
I will be able
to tell them
to press into
and to lean
on God –
the God of all comfort –
knowing in Him
they will find comfort
like no other.
Because
I myself
have felt it.
Because
I myself
have known it.
He comforts us
in all our troubles
so that we can
comfort others.
When they are troubled,
we will be able
to give them
the same comfort
God has given us.
~2 Corinthians 1:4
While I never
wanted to lose
my precious man, –
if I had to –
I’m so thankful
I went first.
Even in this
God has purpose.
Even in this
God will work
all things for good.
Even in this,
I pray more than anything,
God will be glorified.
Thank you, Lord.
I’m so thankful
I went first.~
~Stacy
