Falling in Love Made All the Difference~

For most of my life, 
I "followed" God out of fear.  
Fear of doing it wrong.
Fear of not doing it right.
Fear of not measuring up.  
Fear of making God mad. 
Fear of (gasp) missing out on Heaven.  
Year after year, 
this was my Christian walk. 

Going to church 
because I "had" to. 

Picking up my Bible 
only to carry it to church with me, 
just in case I might "need" it. 
 
Saying prayers 
that were 
repetitive, 
short, 
and powerless. 

Going through the motions 
of being a Christians, 
totally missing out 
on Christ completely.

Then, I met my husband. 
 
He couldn't get enough of God. 

Every opportunity he had 
was spent
going to church,
reading his Bible, 
listening to Christian radio, 
drinking in God anyplace, anywhere - 
because he wanted to, 
he desired to, 
he couldn't NOT.  

My time with God was fear driven.  
His time with God was love driven.

My Christianity was based 
on trying my hardest 
to obey "religious rules".
His Christianity was based 
on giving of himself 
in loving relationship with his Jesus.

He was living the abundant life (John 10:10), 
overflowing in fruitful living 
in and through Christ Jesus. 

I was merely existing, 
drowning in dead works 
with nothing to grab on to.

Then, 
by the power 
of the Holy Spirit, 
I, too, 
began to fall 
in love 
with Jesus. 
 
I discovered it wasn't about 
what 
I could do 
to earn my way to God, 
but what God 
had already done 
to earn my way back home. 

I learned it wasn't about 
me 
trying to persuade God 
to love me, 
but being fully persuaded 
in my heart 
that God already loved me, 
in spite of me.

And, you know what?!

God's unbelievably believable 
love for me, 
drew me to Him.

God's 
unconditional, 
unchanging, 
undeserving 
love for me, 
undid me 
and drew me to my knees.

God's amazing love for me, 
changed my dead religious acts 
into a vibrant, 
life-changing, 
life-giving, 
life-long love relationship 
with the Lover of my soul.

Love made all the difference.

I still try to do right.
I still try not to do wrong.
I still try to please my Heavenly Father.
I still long for Heaven.

Not because I fear God, 
because I love Him.

And this love of God, 
makes me fear my God 
in the 
deepest, 
purest, 
most amazing way.

And this love of God,
makes me 
want to flee from sin 
and run from 
anything 
that keeps me 
from God.

And this love of God,
keeps me 
seeking Him 
in the pages of His word, 
communing with Him 
through the prayers 
of my heart and lips, 
worshiping Him 
in the day to day 
living of my life.

Now I'm the one 
who can't get enough of God. 
 
Every opportunity 
I have 
is spent
drinking in God anyplace, anywhere - 
because I want to, 
I desire to, 
I can't NOT. 

Because you see,
now,
my very life 
depends on it, 
on Him, 
on knowing 
and loving 
and communing 
with my precious Jesus.

And it is this,
this too-beyond-words 
relationship with Jesus,
that I pray for you.

~ Stacy

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