Less Is More
When my mother and I
packed up our belongings,
sold our homes,
and moved to a new home
in a new state,
neither of us
had any plans
to pack up our belongings,
sell our homes,
and move to a new home
in a new state
and live together.
But God.
And since this
wasn’t anything
either of us
had even thought of
much less planned for,
there was so much chaos
in the already-filled chaos
that comes with moving.
I had lost my husband
five years earlier,
but other than
sorting through
all the paraphernalia
he kept in his truck
and unloading that,
I hadn’t even
talked my heart into
doing anything
with any of the rest
of his belongings.
Needless to say,
in the hurry of
emptying my home
so I could start all over
helping my mom
empty hers,
much of what my man
once held dear to his heart
came right along with me.
And,
knowing most of our new home
would be home to my mom’s things,
his things,
along with my things,
ended up in my bedroom –
my bedroom closet
to be exact.
Only my bedroom closet
well,
it’s a bedroom closet
and it wasn’t made
to house
all my previous house
housed.
But, it tried.
And me,
I tried to live with
the overcrowding
of this tiny space
for three years.
Until this past December,
until the day
God spoke the word
ABUNDANCE
into my heart,
into my life,
(and into my closet situation)
as my word for 2024.
Opening my closet door that night,
and trying to climb over boxes
to get to yet another box,
for the umpteeth time
in the last three years,
I felt God tugging on my heart
to do something about
all I had stored away in my closet.
And I knew deep down in my heart,
my holding on to
all the personal memorabilia –
as abundant as my past life had been –
was keeping me from
living and enjoying
an abundant life now.
The very next day,
with God’s help,
I started the task
of moving some things out.
(Before you think
I’m courageous and brave,
I need to let you know,
I only moved them
downstairs
to a free spot
in our basement.)
Turns out,
less is actually more.
My closet
is so spacious now,
with an ABUNDANCE
of room.
I can’t even begin to tell you
how this brought
such peace to my chaos.
But,
God didn’t stop
with my closet.
Living back
under the same roof
with my mother,
(as much as I love her
and she loves me)
had my heart feeling
overcrowded
and suffocatingly cramped.
All of my childhood wounds
(even loving homes
can leave baggage)
now oddly fresh and raw,
easily triggered,
undeniably real,
made living day to day
a harder obstacle course
to work my way
through and around,
than hunting for a
pair of old shoes
in my overcrowded closet.
Have you ever tried
to empty your heart
of old personal memorabilia?
Ok, memorabilia
probably doesn’t fit here,
but it sure sounds
and feels
better than
bitterness,
unforgiveness,
hang-ups and
hanging-on-tos.
God knew if
ABUNDANCE
was going to be
my new norm,
I had a whole lot
of heart emptying to do.
And if you’re thinking
I am courageous and brave,
this time,
you would be correct.
To look your heart
right in the eye
and see all the ugly
taking up space,
crowding out everything else –
it’s not easy.
You can’t just
heave all of that
up on your hip
and carry it
down to the basement.
This requires
carrying it down
to your knees.
All the way down.
Flat out
on your face
before God.
But,
it turns out –
just like with my closet,
less is more.
In the midst of the
tears and the confession,
in the middle of the
remembering and the releasing,
in the center of the
unloading and the emptying out,
God filled my heart
with ABUNDANCE.
Love.
Joy.
Peace.
Patience.
Kindness.
Goodness.
Faithfulness.
Gentleness.
Self-control.
When my mother and I
packed up our belongings,
sold our homes,
and moved to a new home
in a new state,
I never knew
three years into
this new living arrangement,
God would completely
re-arrange my heart
and show me
a new way to live.
But, God.
His ways are not only higher.
His ways are not only better.
His ways
bring
ABUNDANCE.
~Stacy
This post is the fourth post in the ABUNDANCE series.
The first post is “Abundance”, followed by “FULLY LOVED”, and “In a New Light”.
