I’ve Got a God For That
It was a slow motion moment
that happened faster than fast.
Having just walked into a store
to do some necessary shopping,
my eighty-eight year old mother
stood to the side of the entrance
as I made my way over
to where the shopping carts were.
As my habit is,
upon reaching for a cart,
I did a quick glance
back over my shoulder
to check on my mother.
And as I did,
the exact moment I did,
I watched as
she started to fall backward.
With only a cane in her hand
and nothing around her
to grab hold of,
I knew the inevitable
was happening
right before my eyes.
All I could see
was her falling –
and the aluminum bench
a few feet behind her.
It was a slow motion moment
that happened faster than fast.
Before I could even turn
all the way around
or take a step or two
toward her,
she was down,
flat on her back
in the middle of the floor.
Oh, my heart!
Thankfully,
she missed hitting
her head on the bench,
barely skimming her
left shoulder on it
on her way down.
And even though
she landed hard
on the hard floor,
with the help of
a tiny, slender older woman
who had walked in with us
and heard the commotion,
I was able to get her
back up on her feet,
and onto the bench
to rest for a moment.
She was hardly
shaken up at all,
insisting she was ready
to get on with our shopping.
Me –
my heart felt as though
it was about
to jump out of my chest.
So we sat –
more for me,
quite honestly,
than for her.
(Thank God,
Xrays later showed
no fractures or breaks
in her shoulder –
just soreness/stiffness
that hopefully physical therapy
will work wonders with.)
ABUNDANCE
This is the word
God spoke to my heart
as my word for the year
for 2024.
Oh how faithfully
God is defining this word
and all that it means
in so many areas of my life.
That night,
after my mom was in bed
and I was finally alone –
with my thoughts,
with my emotions,
and with my God –
on bent knees
at my windowsill
which has become to me
my altar and place of
holy worship to my God,
the floodgates opened
and the tears came.
An ABUNDANCE of tears.
For me,
it is always the tears.
I truly believe
tears are my love language.
In fact,
earlier that very morning,
while I was having coffee
with my sister,
I had shared with her –
that during this current season
I am in –
one that has now
spanned eight years
and has included losing my husband
and becoming full time care giver
of my elderly mother who has dementia –
I truly believe
the shedding of tears –
so many tears -‘
has helped saved my life.
It is my release.
It is my cleansing.
It is my letting it all out
and giving it all to God.
This night, though,
my usually “quiet” tears
were accompanied by
heartwrenching sobs.
An ABUNDANCE of sobs.
For me,
the fall at the store
was so much more
than just a fall.
It was a slow motion moment
that set into motion
an even greater fear
(for lack of a better word)
about caring for my mother
than I already had.
It was a slow motion moment
that reminded me again
how totally incapable I am
to serve in this capacity.
It was a slow motion moment
that stirred up anew
all my love for my precious mother
and my fierceness to protect her.
It was a slow motion moment
that sent be down, down down
until my heart cried out,
“Oh, precious Lord,
I am not able.
I am so not the one for this.”
And it was a slow motion moment
that brought an
immediate,
faster than fast
response from my God.
The second my heart cried out,
I heard God’s answer
in the depth of my spirit:
“Oh, my precious child,
I am more than able.
I am so your God
in this and through this.”
Then my precious Lord
went one step further
and in His lovingkindness
He reminded me of a truth
a dear friend had shared
one Wednesday morning
so many years ago
as we sat around tables
sharing our heart
at our weekly SPA for Moms gathering.
We were talking about
feelings of overwhelm,
crippling fear,
insecurities and
“I’m not able” moments.
“You know what has really
been a game changer for me?”
this precious sister in Christ asked.
“Remembering who God is
in spite of who I am.
No matter what is happening,
I remind myself
I don’t have to worry,
I don’t have to carry the weight,
I don’t have to be overwhelmed
because I’ve got a God for this.”
I’ve. Got. A. God. For. This.
Sounds like ABUNDANCE to me.
With only fear in my heart,
it was exactly
the reminder
and the undeniable truth
I needed to grab hold of
to pick myself back up again.
All that I am not,
He is.
All that I cannot,
He can.
All that I’m not able,
He does.
He is. He can. He does.
It was a slow motion moment –
one that not only
took my mother down,
but one that almost
took me down, too
But,
thank God,
I have a God.
The Almighty God.
The Living God.
And in a moment
faster than fast,
He stirred up my faith,
He rekindled my courage.
He comforted my heart.
He refreshed my soul.
I’ve got a God for that,
and because I do,
I have all I
or my mother
will ever need.
~Stacy
This post is the thirteenth post in the ABUNDANCE series.
The first post is “Abundance”, followed by “FULLY LOVED”, “In a New Light”, “Less is More”, “Choose Life”, “Run to The Father”, “Keep Looking”, “Doubling Up”, “The Referral”, “The Question” and “Surrender”
