All The Emotions
On any given day,
we can experience
any given amount
of emotions.
On April 24,
I think it is true to say,
I experienced
almost every possible emotion
a human heart can feel.
From
feeling excitement
as I pulled up
in MK’s driveway
and saw him come out to greet me,
to feeling terror
as his rescue/guard dog
lunged toward me,
grabbed my hand in his mouth
and yanked me back,
to feeling heaviness
for my friend as he felt
his own heaviness
at what had just happened,
to feeling frustrated
(for lack of a better word)
that this was the way
our long awaited reunion
was starting out,
to feeling unnaturally calm
with a supernatural peace
as God’s Spirit flowed through me,
to feeling angry
at the enemy of our soul
for the way he had
stolen so much life
and so many years
from MK
by holding him prisoner to fear,
to feeling heartbreaking sorrow
as I began to understand
the torment and anquish
my friend faced on a daily basis,
to feeling convicted
for not having been here
for MK the past twenty years,
to feeling empowered
by the Spirit of God, Himself,
as scriptures flowed from my mouth
and faith surged through my body,
to feeling overwhelmed
at the goodness of God
that found me here
talking face to face
and praying with and for
this precious one,
to feeling hopeful
as I saw the way MK
looked in my eyes
and listened to every word I said,
to feeling thankful
for all God was doing
in this moment,
in this heart,
to feeling love –
so much love
for my friend
and for my God.
And that’s just
a snippet
of the ABUNDANCE
of emotions
I felt that day.
ABUNDANCE
This is the word
God spoke to my heart
as my word of the year
or 2024.
As I backed out
of the drive
and started making my way
to Urgent Care,
grief decided
to show up, too.
I was in the town –
where 34 years ago,
I met my husband.
I was in the place
he and I fell in love,
got married,
and shared a life.
I was here
and this ABUNDANCE
of emotions –
combined with
the physical pain
in my now very swollen hand –
found me wanting him
to be here, too.
And for the first time
in a long time,
I began to miss my man
with a fierceness
that left me
struggling to breathe.
But God.
The same God
who had been
with me through
all the emotions
of this day,
was here still.
Through tears
that fell uncontrollably,
I felt the
ABUNDANCE
of God
wrap around me
in the comfort
only He can give.
As I wiped my tears
and kept driving toward
Urgent Care,
I was reminded of a truth
that maybe you, yourself,
need reminding of, too.
Our God understands.
Oh, how He understands.
We can trust God
with every detail,
with every decision,
with every situation,
with every circumstance,
with every need in our life.
But may we never forget,
we can trust God
with every emotion
we feel, too.
And when we do –
when we trust Him
to handle us with care,
to be a soft, safe place to land,
to understand what words can’t express,
to wipe every tear, –
we find in
ABUNDANCE
and overflowing,
the strength
to get back up
to keep going,
to stay in the fight.
And for someone like me
who doesn’t “do blood or anything medical”
to walk through
the doors of Urgent Care.
~Stacy
This post is the eighteenth post in the ABUNDANCE series.
The first post is “Abundance”, followed by “FULLY LOVED”, “In a New Light”, “Less is More”,“Choose Life”,“Run to The Father”, “Keep Looking”, “Doubling Up”, “The Referral”,“The Question”, “Death Brings Life” “Surrender” , “I’ve Got a God For That”, “Live Out Loud“, “MK”, “Finally” and “The Front Porch”.
